This post is probably going to end up being whiny and depressing, but it’s chock full of crud I need to expunge before I can continue writing, so bear with me. Or skip it, whatever.
First, I’m currently unemployed. I actually have been since March. The post about working 13 shifts in 12 days? Yeah, that had some bad effects. Like the fact that I was taking medication that made me irrational and uninhibited when my sleep cycle got disrupted. Yeah, that went over real well.
I’d rather not dwell on the whole thing. In short it started as something in which I was in the right, but I handled it badly and things got out of hand. And I no longer work at a job that I was really, intensely starting to hate.
Nevertheless, hate the job or no, this is the second time I’ve been fired for what boils down to one reason: the medication I was taking. Yes, I said “was.” I have spent the last 2 months weaning myself off the stuff. It helped me in a lot of ways for a long time, but it also had a lot of bad effects, and the bad effects have been interfering with my life. For those wondering, the medication I was taking was Elavil, and Iwas taking it for anxiety and depression.
Which has made the last two months a fun, fun time, let me tell you. I’m just glad that I was able to actually take the time to do this without having to worry about dealing with working. Because, oh, yeah, I bought myself some time. I cashed out my retirement fund.
Oh yeah, I’ve lost my mind. I’ve cashed out my retirement fund and gone off my meds. Yep, I’m gone. Outta here. Bang.
Because, of course, my retirement fund was in such BETTER hands before, I tell you what. I’m not even going to get started on the futility of ranting about being required to invest in a system I don’t believe in and then watching that system crumble before my eyes because the sorts of people running it don’t have the brains God gave a hamster, because, as I mentioned, I’m off my meds and so I’m really trying to avoid the whole spirally-toxic-bad-mood-causing thinking these days. Hang on.
OK, I don’t know about you, but I feel better now.
Joking aside, I actually do. Yesterday was the first time in months that I woke up feeling GOOD. Like I’m GETTING somewhere. I even went out and did some clothes shopping, not because I like spending money indiscriminately when I’m unemployed, but because I’m going to start hitting the job market next week and desperately need something professional to wear. Desperately. Today’s task is to go get the ink cartridge for my printer refilled.
And I haven’t been completely idle on my time off. I opened an Etsy store, that was fun. It’ll be even more fun if I sell anything. I actually have further plans to start a jewelry blog and engage in some social networking interactions that way, but those plans are being put on hold until I actually get some money coming in. In the meantime, I’ve been making lots of new pieces. It’s been helping me stay sane.
Tags: antidepressant, unemployment
May 5, 2009 at 10:57 am |
Hang in there. I’ve heard some scary stories about what it takes to wean off Elavil. You have our support. xoxo
May 5, 2009 at 11:44 am |
I’m lucky, so far the effects have been well within the bounds of my ability to cope. Like with the smoking, doing this while comfortably unemployed helped a boatload.
May 5, 2009 at 12:52 pm |
No link to the Etsy store? How are we supposed to browse and pimp if you do not link us?
(Shush, I’m not missing the point, honestly.)
May 5, 2009 at 3:20 pm |
Email me at lowrentvalkyrie@hotmail.com and I’ll send you the link.
Since the Etsy thing is under my “real identity,” which I want to keep as separate from my “eris esoteric” identity as possible (’cause, you know, of the stuff I tend to post on the internet in my “eris esoteric” identity) I’m not directly linking from here to there.